What Do We Want for Our Children?

Seven. What Do We Want for Our Children?

A child said, What is the grass? fetching it to me with full hands;

How could I answer the child? . . . I do not know what it is any more than he.

Throughout my work on this book, I've been reflecting on what it is that seems to me so important about encouraging children to develop their philosophical selves. I've thought back on the conversations I've had with children, my own and others, about philosophical topics for the past fifteen years. Over and over again, children and young people have told me that making a space for philosophical questioning has been transformative for them.

As I've contended, awareness of the philosophical dimension of life seems natural for most of us. We grow up wondering about the strangeness of our mortal lives, the meaning of being alive, the complexity of identity, the nature of friendship and love, how to live good lives, and whether we can know anything at all. Our ability to reflect on our experiences and to use language to make sense of intricate and often inscrutable concepts makes questioning the conditions of our existence a basic human act.

Yet examining deeply the concepts we use, the beliefs we hold, and the experiences we have does not become part of the fabric of most adult lives. I have suggested in this book that this is a loss, and that supporting our children's efforts to develop philosophical sensitivity can be a great gift. Probing the assumptions and analyzing the larger significance of everyday life events involves proficiency in reasoning and analysis, as well as an ongoing awareness of the strangeness of existence. Engaging in philosophical inquiry with our children can provide them with some important skills for taking control of their own futures and developing the confidence to build meaningful lives, and it can deepen those lives by keeping alive the wonder at the human condition that almost all of us experienced as children.

BECOMING AN INDEPENDENT THINKER

"I have always held strong beliefs which I practice and preach, but the topics we discussed in the course raised new questions that I had never given thought to."

Many of the undergraduate students in my philosophy for children class, especially those new to philosophy, express how meaningful it is to them to participate in philosophical discussions with their peers. They recount that as children they often considered many of the issues we discuss in class but didn't have support for any kind of sustained philosophical inquiry. When we talk about the reasons to introduce children to philosophy, many of them describe feeling as if their philosophical growth was stunted at an early age. Frequently, I watch them becoming aware that they have not thought through various issues for themselves-and blooming in the process.

Growing up, most people develop, often without thinking deeply about the questions, strong beliefs about morality, what matters most in life, freedom and fairness, the existence and nature of God, and other fundamental issues. Many of these beliefs stem from what we learn from our parents, then are left unexamined. Children often grow up with a feeling that the way the world works involves some single and complete understanding, which they will discover when they get older. At some point, it becomes clear that no such holistic explanation will be handed to us-that there is no secret key that will unlock life's mysteries. We then recognize that understanding our world is a process, requiring us to absorb a multitude of information, undergo diverse experiences, and engage in ongoing education; moreover, we see that this understanding remains provisional, shifting and changing over time.

The opportunity to engage in such speculative reflection at young ages, especially with parents or other adults they trust, allows children to examine the questions that interest them based on their own perspectives and ideas. This also encourages them to cultivate a habit of questioning their own beliefs and ideas. Developing a comfort with questions rather than answers, with uncertainty as opposed to definitiveness, can help children successfully navigate the complexity of the world in which they are growing up.

A primary task of becoming an adult is making sense of both the world and one's place in it. Nurturing our children's philosophical selves is one way to help them develop the reasoning and creative-thinking skills that are so necessary when it comes to making sense of the world for themselves. To do this, a child must acquire the ability to take control over her life, and this demands skill at thinking effectively and asking good questions. Thinking and questioning are central to the practice of philosophy. Because philosophical issues are complex, they demand rigorous and careful reasoning. Because they are unsettled, they inspire the formulation of clear and articulate questions. When you spend time thinking philosophically with your child, you're facilitating her ability to acquire some of the tools she needs to become a self-directed learner and independent thinker.

"Dear Jana, I'm now several weeks into my first college philosophy class. This is without a doubt one of my favorite classes this semester. ... What I wanted to say is, thank you for introducing me to philosophy. For example, it was really great to have read the little book you gave me with twenty questions from great philosophers, because now I've been exposed to many of the concepts, and I can understand them better and get a deeper appreciation when the topics come up in lecture. I honestly don't know and don't want to think about what college would be like if you hadn't pushed me to not get stuck in a cookie cutter high school experience."

It perhaps seems a large claim to assert that philosophy can make a significant difference in the circumstances of a child's life. But I think it can. Our philosophical selves, alert to the large questions of human existence, are intimately connected to experiences involving wonder, awe, and perplexity. These are fundamental aspects of being a human being. Supporting your child's ability to maintain and expand this part of herself helps her sustain her sense of the world as marvelous and mysterious. The hard thinking that philosophical inquiry demands provides her with some of the analytic skills she needs in order to engage in thoughtful decision-making throughout her life.